Grandma Got Thrown Under The Bus!
Posted: Sunday, March 30, 2008
by Kevin D. Moore
Knowledge Driven & Moore LLC
Recently, Senator Barack Obama gave a speech on race relations in America. During that speech, he gave a very personal example of how issues associated with race can hit close to home.
Specifically, the example he gave involved his grandma on his mother's side whose tan was not as good as his for as long as his. In other words, his grandma was White. While citing this example, Barack said that his grandma helped raise him, had sacrificed for him, and truly loved him. And, of course, he truly loved her back.
As a result of this very personal example, there have been people that have not viewed nor received Barack's comments in a positive light. In fact, some have said that Barack needlessly threw his grandma under the bus!
Well, I disagree... Furthermore, I truly appreciate that he was willing to provide such a personal experience that resonates in so many people that live in the United States. The fact is that we (Americans) are still dealing with the baggage associated with racial issues derived from our past. Of course, there are many Americans today who do not see these issues, may never have directly added to these issues, or do not view these issues as hitting close to home. But unfortunately, these issues are still there, none the less, and, for many, do hit close to home.
However, as reflected in Barack's speech, these issues are not one sided no matter how close they hit to home.
For me, approximately a year ago, while walking out of a very large Mall in a racial mixed area, I was called something that I had not been called in years!
Unfortunately, while walking to my parked car, a taxi cab slowly pulled up next me. The cab was driven by a White man. Needless to say, I expected him to ask me if I needed a ride or maybe he needed directions. I was wrong on both accounts. What he wanted instead was to yell and call me a "NIGGER!" Upon satisfying himself, he quickly drove off.
Now as you can probably guess, I was somewhat enraged although I did not show it (I did not want to empower him or the word he used.) But that is not the point of this story. I wish it were but it is not.
The point is that after being yelled at, the first thought that entered my mind was that I could not believe that he called me this because of the way I was dressed… You see, I was dressed in a business suit. I not only looked "Corporate", but felt "Corporate", and for whatever reason felt somewhat part of the "Majority."
The problem with this whole thought process was that somehow I initially thought that being called a "NIGGER" would be more appropriate if I was wearing stereotypically different clothes.
WRONG ANSWER! What was I thinking?
My initial thought demonstrates to me that I probably have some issues of my own deep down inside. Fortunately, I quickly put myself in check. But I had thought this none the less. Ironically, if you ask those who are close to me they will tell you that I probably do not have a prejudiced bone in my body. But obviously, this was a failing moment that hit close to home.
So why tell you this? Better yet, why throw myself under the bus?
Because, personal experiences tend to be more meaningful and credible to others and I want to do my part in helping America continue moving forward in its desire to truly and totally be united as a nation. If that means throwing myself under the "so called" bus to demonstrate that there are two sides of the racial divide and that these issues hit closer to home than we may realize… Then so be it…
I guess when you really think about it sometimes being thrown under the bus is a good thing…
Copyright © 2008 Knowledge Driven & Moore LLC. All Rights Reserved.
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More commentsObama's white grandmother may have had issues concerning her personal feelings towards black males. However, his claiming that this type of fear is "bred into" white people is just as callous and insensitive as saying that blacks do better at sports because their native ancestors had to learn to run to survive. Kevin, I'm sorry for the racist remarks you've had to endure. However, I will not vote for Obama for the same reason I would not for anyone who espouses the beliefs of someone like David Duke. Racism is racism regardless of the color of the individual who practices it.Martin, You're right, "racism is racism…" But I must admit that I am a little perplexed about one thing you mentioned. You said that Barack is "…claiming that this type of fear is "bred into" white people…" The reason I am perplexed by this is that I am unaware of this comment. I listened live to his speech when he gave it and have re-read several times the entire transcript of the speech and have not been able to successfully find this comment or anything that leads me to conclude this. Can you tell me where you got it or what led you to this conclusion? Many thanks for commenting! Kevin
Dr. Yes not what we profess but who we are as demonstrated by our works.. If love is lacking it matters not what color, race, creed, you are without ever knowing it, The Easter Bunny. best Wishes RTMRTM, And to think, I thought the Easter Bunny was a figment of my imagination :-) Who knew? Best Wishes to you as well, Kevin
Kevin~ Having grown up with an extremely racist dad, I heard every derogatory word for ANYONE who wasn't Italian. My father was the biggest of bigots (I used to call him 'the Italian Archie Bunker'). The good news is that my mother used to tell me all the time, 'honey, if you cut someone open, their blood will be the same red as yours. Don't ever forget that." I was blessed with an incredibly insightful mom and I shal forever be grateful for that blessing. But here's the deal: even if we only NOTICE the differences in skin color, religion, etc., we are still differentiating. Racism and prejudice will only be gone for good when we stop seeing the diffferences. I don't care if it's skin color, hair color, or language. We are ALL of one race: HUMAN. When we get THAT part down, we'll have eliminated what we now call 'prejudice'. Thanks for sharing your story! Camille OliviaCamille, Thank you for sharing your story! You were truly blessed with a great mom. If only every person on earth had a loved one like your mom… However, I have a slightly different opinion when it comes to differences. I believe as humans we can't help but see the differences. It's how we handle the differences that matter most. I believe this is supported by the interaction of children that are not tainted by adults when it comes to race, color, or creed. They are not necessarily racist but they do in fact notice the differences between themselves and others. The beauty is that even though they notice their differences they also accept them. I guess what I'm trying to say is that Humans will probably always notice differences. The hope is that one day those differences won't matter. Again, thank you for sharing! Kevin
Kevin, Thanks for this well-written and thoughtful article. I love your response to Camille! You're exactly right - we will always have difference and notice differences and it is acceptance that counts. I would add that we also need to teach our children about the differences that DO matter. For example, character and ethics matter. I want my children to be able to look far beyond the surface and look at the heart of a person. They need to be able to make decisions about who to have for friends, who to do business with, etc. Wisdom chooses by the inside, not the outside.Jean, I agree with you 150% The inner person is much more important than the outer… Thanks for the comment! Kevin
Kevin, as Sue, I've missed you on Searchwarp and always appreciate your insightful articles. I suppose, if we are all to be honest, there are the inner demons of prejudice lurking within each of us -- even if it is not realized. I had a very humbling test of my own a few years ago when I had to work with an American Iraqi woman: as a New Yorker I had my pre-conditioned ideas about her culture but through time, and getting to know her, I was extremely humbled: we became wonderful friends who have many of the same values and beliefs. What I love about being a mom is watching all the kids play not noticing any differences -- when they get "mad" it's for a reason; not because of color or culture. As Jean commented; I too want my child to look far beyond the surface and look into the hearts of those she meets. Thanks for an inspiring article, Kevin.Judi, It's so nice to be missed… You know, I hate demons especially when they are internal. But when I shine some light on them they always have a habit of running away. That is why I don't mind looking deep into myself and facing demons of prejudice. Hopefully, there are not many… Kevin
Kevin, Well said. I enjoyed the firsthand approach to expressing and informing on such an important topic. In my article "Illegal Immigration is Not about Money Lost or Laws Broken" I mention why I feel that this is such an issue. After contemplating this for years--through extensive reading, research, and speaking to people of many races, both legal and illegal immigrants--I came to the conclusion that the reason this is such an emotional topic is because of racism. Consider that there are only about 10 million illegal immigrants but 300 million legal immigrants (or citizens). People can’t be getting so emotionally charged because of laws being broken, for there are many more laws broken by legal citizens than illegal (and most money being stolen through white collar crime). It can’t be about money lost because there is much more money lost and tax payers dollars spent on citizen crime. So what is it? In my article, I go into detail about the general fact that this country was founded on racism: colonists saw the Native Americans as inferior by association because in looking at them they were reminded of the Irish, also seen as inferior. Then you have the enslavement of Africans who were seen in a similar vein, childish, untrustworthy, uncivilized heathens like the Native Americans and Irish. But we’re not done. There’s The Chinese Exclusion Act in which the government for the first time disallowed people to enter the U.S. solely based on race because, once again, these “people” were seen as inferior. There’s also the mistreatment of Mexicans, as well as the Japanese who were put into internment camps during WWII (why not Italians or Germans?) and so on. It’s only been in recent years that other non-white cultures were given their due: the Civil Rights Act (1964) and Voters Rights Act (1963). Consider that it was only the late 70s before laws regarding Sundown Towns (no African Americans, sometimes Chinese Americans, Jews, etc. allowed to stay after dark) were no longer enforced. Many towns throughout the U.S. still have the laws on their town charters even though they may not be enforced. I have been teaching my students for years that racism is not dead, it’s simply not PC to be racists or say racist things anymore. As you know, it still lives. As a matter of fact, my best friend is from Mississippi and he told me that the main reason he went into law was to nail all the rednecks back in the South. I’ve gone to the deep south where rebel flags wave and Yankee accents are still looked down upon (I’m from Connecticut). Consider that slavery has been a part of American History (roughly 260 years) longer than it hasn’t (roughly 140 years), and like a bad habit that’s been with a person a long time, it takes more effort and work to get rid of it than a habit that’s been with one only a few years. When I was teaching, I required my students to read “Letter from Birmingham Jail” by Martin Luther King. An essay that took me several read throughs before I could do so without crying. Martin Luther King believed that life was not worth living if you had nothing to die for. What greater cause than to teach people that the tip of the iceberg bears little evidence as to what lies beneath, that judging someone on skin color is like killing someone because the handkerchief they carry in their back pocket is red and not blue. May we all come to a greater understanding and appreciation for difference and see it as a blessing that creates great interest and contrast to the mundane world of only one color, flavor, opinion, or race. God bless and keep writing and teaching.Jeff, It is ironic the number of bad things that have happened in our American history reference race versus the great achievements we have made as a Nation due to our diversity. Thank you for a very informative look into our past! God Bless You! Kevin
Hello Kevin, I have no comment other than to say I agree with you 1,000%! Thank you for writing such an insightful article. I couldn't have said it better myself. All the best, Gloria WhitehornGloria, Great minds think alike... Many thanks, Kevin
Wonderful article, Kevin. I was lucky enough to grow up in a family that felt no type of racism for anyone and I have never been racist myself. My grandparents (and I'm quite old myself) had a black family for neighbors. This was early in the 1900's and both families had to help each other through some very hard times. I pray every day that everyone in the world will someday become colorblind. As I commented on another article about racism in American, this is one country that should be less racist than any in the world since we are nearly all a mixture of many races. Who are we to point a finger and say, 'you don't belong!' SEGSandra,
First I'd like to say that you are not quite old… A little seasoned, yes, but not old :-) Second, the example of your grandparents shows what America is so good at. When we face challenges or adversity, we rise to the occasion and truly come together. Unfortunately, it seems that some (but not all) have a tendency to forget why we came together in the first place. I agree…America's diversity is what makes us a great nation. I'm not sure I know when but I believe that one day we will truly come together. We may never get past the fact that there are differences but I believe we will get paste how we handle them.
Thank you so much for your comment!
Kevin
Hello, Kevin,I thought your article was an excellent example of a fear that lingers in all of us no matter the color, that we have a pinch of racism lying deep within us. Your honesty was inspiring. I was a dirty hippie of the sixties and my parents thought I was surly going to hell for my protesting.I had a great diversity of friends who bonded together to make it legal to vote in campus elections as independents where before only sorority and fraternity could vote or hold office. Another time and place were my best friends wanted to be called black. They were proud of the color of their skin and they wanted it that way.Flash forward 40 years and I have not used the word black since college years . I am working in a small florist and a young black guy comes in to buy flowers for his girl. We have a great talk , pick out flowers and he is ready to pay. We are busy and to save him time I ask a co-worker if she would check out this sweet black guy for me and she stops dead in her tracks and looks at me as though I have said the most horrific word. She keeps quiet until he leaves and then asks me if I intended to be so cruel. I am stunned, the guy never bats an eye but I feel sad and ashamed. I let a word slip that I had used many years ago at the insistance of my black friends, yet today it has a different meaning. I have raised four children to judge the worth of people by their actions not words. I have four wonderful granchildren who are color blind and while they may see the differences in others around them they respect the differences that set them apart. I am so proud of them.This being said, I have a very special young man who comes regularly to buy flowers from me, the same young man that I used the word black with. I think he looked into my eyes and saw the love I have for all humans and maybe it wasnt the right word but he let it go and now we are friends even though thirty years separate us. Your article hit a home run with me.sincerely, nancy green
Kevin, What an insightful post! I believe that Barack Obama's account of his grandmother is just what this country needs: an open dialogue about these issues, the fears among some and the courage to engage openly in what is often only an inner dialogue within us, or with people who think and feel the same way. I believe that understanding is possible (both within ourselves and with each other) if more people would be open to opening their hearts like this. It isn't always easy to write about such personal issues as you have (or for Barack's grandmother to admit her fear or for Barack to openly discuss it). I agree with you that differences will always exist and what we need is acceptance. Again, thank you for opening your heart and sharing your insights on this important issue. Warmly, BarbaraBarbara,Somehow, I missed you comment...but I feel it is never too late to say "Thank You"!!!Your comment has brigthened my day.Kevin
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